flash

Bird Song

4.30 I wake, the birds are singing outside our window. I lay alone. Listen. Their clear whistle punches through the early morning. The day not bright, not quite ready for their chorous. Yet they sing. Shout aloud. I scream. Tears run down my face. They are alive, so alive. You’re not there. Still not there. Can you hear them? Hear them sing.

Years ago

I wish I could say I’m sorry. I wish you could hear my words. In the long dark hours before dawn I dream of you and apologise for the hurt I caused. It wasn’t enough. It’s never enough. I wake with regret. Thinking of you.

With my eyes closed

Night walking. Head hazy. The streets warped like an Escher picture.  Yet my routefinder kicks in. My feet walk a path they’ve walked too many times before. 

Third lamppost on the left, take the snicket Dark and narrow I snag on brambles falling free, skin torn, stinging. Head for the light, the other side. Stumble on loose paving stones down the steps to arrive on your street. 

Quiet. Calm. Unchanged.

I sit on the pavement. Hug my knees tight. Here again.